Thursday, December 11, 2003

Denial

Two weeks to go until Christmas and I'm in deep denial. You see, we were counting on a big lump sum payment from Adam's job to pay for our Christmas this year, and due to some problems with the paperwork, it won't be here until early January. Meanwhile, we've had quite a few unexpected expenses in the past few months, so there's not a lot of fat in our budget to cover extras like Christmas. I'm swallowing my pride and borrowing enough from my parents to buy the kids something, but everyone else is going to have to settle for an old fashioned Christmas - the one that starts on Dec. 25 and goes through the feast of St. Stephen on Jan. 6. On the upside, I'll be doing my Christmas shopping during the after Christmas sales, so I should get lots of bang for my buck.

I realize that this is a seriously first world problem - there are many familes that don't have the money for Christmas at all, now or in 3 weeks, and as Anne Lamott says, if you can solve your problem by throwing money at it, you don't have a problem. Still, it's disappointing. I had a fantasy of getting this money at the beginning of December and going out and very efficiently getting all our shopping done and mailing gifts off so that they would arrive well before Christmas. Now I'm sort of scrambling to get the kids stuff without having to borrow too much from my folks and fretting about the necessary belatedness of the other gifts and it's kind of taking the joy out of it for me. It's easier just to ignore it all. Which is too bad, because usually I really like this time of year.

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